It’s been raining here in Austin, off and on, for several days now. And there’s more on the way! God has heard the prayers of His people, and He has answered them. It seems like such a small thing to ask for, relatively speaking, when we consider the millions of pleas He receives about war, famine, death and unspeakable tragedies. But, we still ask. We are His children and we trust Our Father to give us exactly what we need, even when it’s not always what we had in mind or on our own watch.
This morning I was so worried about so many things. I have begun a new project that has been taking up most of my waking hours. I am scared because sometimes I feel like I am in way over my head, yet, I feel certain that this is something God has called me to do. I am using the gifts He gave me to serve Him, to glorify Him and to give witness to others, but there are times when I feel like I don’t have enough energy, whether that be creative, physical or emotional to get the job done to my satisfaction. Wow. That’s revealing. I wrote “get the job done to my satisfaction.” I not only just caught myself at being my own worst critic, I just admitted that I have a self-made standard to meet. I’m not satisfied. I’m not grateful.
What is gratitude, anyway? I believe it’s as simple as being satisfied with what we are given. And, that gift can be something little or something big. It can be something very subtle, almost undetectable, or something very obvious.
So many gifts, so many moments, so many joys have passed me by without me really soaking them in. I was too distracted and distressed to notice them, let alone thank God for them. I was too busy with my obsessively occupied mind, trying to figure out how I was going to do all that I needed to do, forgetting that I’m not really the one in charge. It’s His day…I just live in it. And, I can live it joyfully trusting Him or spend it needlessly worrying about things over which I really have little to no control. St. John of Avila instructs us to “think of how often our faulty heart lets the precious grace which our Lord pours into it become wasted, instead of carefully preserving it.”
Luke 17: 11-19 tells the story of ten lepers who called out to Jesus asking Him to heal them. Jesus told them to go see the priests, and as they were on their way there, all ten were healed but only one, a Samaritan, returned to Jesus, falling at his feet, thanking and glorifying God. It’s not like the other nine didn’t have faith. They did, because they trusted Jesus enough to do what He told them to do. But maybe somewhere along the way, they lost track of Who really healed them. Maybe they were too exhausted emotionally or physically to turn around and go all the way back to Jesus. Or, maybe they were too busy or simply forgot. More often than not, I am one of those nine…but, not today.
Today, I will be grateful. Today, I will trust. Today, as the gift of rain falls down from Heaven, I will soak up His grace!
Copyright D. Smith 2013
